About

I’m a college student studying how to be an objective journalist, but what I really want to be is an objectionable writer.

I grew up in a small town with one stoplight, and my high school had “drive your tractor to school” days. I drove a teal Sunfire. I didn’t belong.

Vod(ka) is my drug of choice, mostly because I did the math and it’s the cheapest drunk.

I once took a graphics class and our assignment was to draw something important in our lives. Everyone drew their cats. I drew a handle of vodka. The gradients were out of this world.

Besides my stellar gradient skills, I’m a decent human being. I believe that with every bottle of flavored Burnett’s I kill, a polar bear is saved. That’s why I do what I do.